afraid

My darling,

I am writing to you today because I have something to share with you. A piece of advice that I’ve been keeping for a while now. I’ve had this reoccurring thought almost every night for the last twenty-ish years or so and I’m willing to bet you’ve also felt the weight of this at some point or another.

It’s true I haven’t lived very long. Two decades and four years is hardly enough to know, well, enough. I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. I don’t know where I’ll be on this day in the next two decades and four years, but I think we can all extract a small seed of wisdom from each season we’ve found ourselves planted in.

You see the truth is, my darling, that I’ve been very afraid.

I’ve been afraid of making mistakes, of choosing the wrong, well…everything.

It’s the reason I haven’t written in so long. The reason I stopped singing. The reason I’ve scaled my heart back. The reason I’ve been so cautious.

I’ve second guessed every single move, word, outfit choice, lover and decision and can I tell you something? It’s left me absolutely exhausted.

So I’m done being afraid.

I’m done being afraid of not being perfect.

I’m done with being afraid of not being loved.

I’m done with being afraid of my own voice.

I’m done with being afraid to dance and sing and to look silly in front of people.

I’m done with being afraid of saying the wrong thing, of saying to little or too much or of making the wrong choices

I’m done with being afraid to l i v e.

I’m done letting fear hold me back from the things I know God’s called me to do.

So it starts today with this: With these words and this blog. With me and you.

Big will always grow from small. So let’s start small today, my darling. Let’s start with a paint stroke. With a bold piece of jewelry. With a blog post that no one will ever see. Let’s start with a phone call. With the strum of a guitar. With a song you like to sing when no one’s listening. You’ve been created just as you are for this life– for your life.

So let’s do it together, my darling. Let’s be unafraid together.

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